WANTED: Co-Pilot to Test New Spacecraft

Looking for co-pilot to test new experimental spacecraft. Prefer skills in skydiving, wilderness survival, differential calculus, astronautics, and ability to work well under pressure (figuratively and literally). Lack of fear in the face of explosion/depressurization/being lost in space is a plus. Estimated 3% success rate, safety not guaranteed. Please supply own space suit and flight gear. Launch scheduled for Fall 2014. Please contact for more details and waiver forms.

(Yes, that is real space shuttle equipment in the background <_<)